Lately, my hormones are taking a toll on me. Pretty sure it's a combination of stressing about my Momma and Gamma, my husband and his battles' safety, and worrying about the future. =/.
I'm really scared of how this deployment may affect my husband. He lost a really good friend today, and he's pretty broken about it. I just wish I could take all the hurt away. Will's a pretty sensitive guy to begin with, so I can only imagine how he's dealing with it. I pray I'm strong, and unselfish enough, to handle all of our life changes. My husband is my world, but I'm not a fool. I see all the time about how deployments can change people...something just snaps. =/. We've maintained good communication, and I pray we learn to adapt to one another again come redeployment.
My Momma is battling this dementia to the best of her ability...and so far she's winning. But I can't stop myself from fearing she won't recognize me when we visit in a couple months. I've been trying to research the disease, to educate myself, and some of the published studies concern me. Her mental health can go downhill so quickly, without much warning.
And my Gamma is nearing her 90's. These two women,...mean everything to me. They gave up so much for me, without complaint. They've always had my back, and I'm so grateful for their presence.
I go soon for my next round of Clomid. I pray it works. I want nothing more than to start a family with Will, and I pray that it's in God's plan for us.
So many other changes are happening. I've put everything into some friendships, to no results, and I'm just drained, and it pains me. =(.
Sorry for the pity party guys.
