|
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Shout-out to my followers
So far, I know every single person who follows my blog publicly. But I checked out my stats, and found out I have some international readers. This is wayy cool. I encourage anyone who reads this, to leave me a comment so I can follow you as well. I totally want more than 7 followers (no offense guys). Today, my blog got over 200 views, 147 of them being on the Life post. The fact I posted a link to it on Facebook helped, lol. I actually had never heard of Belarus until today, so whoever you are, you piqued my curiosity to where I Googled this country. So, thanks again to whoever does read it. I deff welcome comments, and more followers, and I promise to return the favor <3.
Amazing friends.
I went out to dinner with a really great family. Anything to escape the house. On the way out, I got an extremely rude text, but whatever. I'll be a baby if I friggin want too. Will's due home tomorrow. Thank God. I need him so badly. One of the texts of support that meant the most to me was from my best guy friend DaDa, and his wife Lesley. But all in all, I'm so thankful to have such amazing friends.
I'm about to watch Glee, and crash. Thankfully.
I'm about to watch Glee, and crash. Thankfully.
Greatest Friends, EVER
A lot of immature shit just went down on Facebook. I posted a blog about my miscarriage, because I kinda got the feeling some people thought I was making up the stuff about the chemotherapy/today just was a bad mental day for me. Apparently, all some people got out of it was that I wasn't happy for certain others, and I was jealous. I actually got bitched out by someone I never met =/. But I had 3 awesome friends who quickly rose to my defense, and others' who sent me supporting messages. I just need Will home. =((. I can't keep myself from crying. I hate family drama. But I'm so sick of getting treated wrong. I apologize if anything I said came out wrong. But I have a feeling people got butt hurt b/c they ignored my instructions and didn't read the entire blog. And I'm so glad Will somehow knew to call. True love right here.
To be honest, at first she apologized, admitting she didn't read it all, but when I got upset, she basically voided her apology. I don't need that. If you don't know me, or even met me, don't judge me. And don't judge a situation by one person's account. Most of you have seen my brother's & mine troublesome relationship..so most of you know what usually goes on. I deleted everyone involved so far, and if any other's have an issue, I have no problem deleting 'em too.
Syonara.
To be honest, at first she apologized, admitting she didn't read it all, but when I got upset, she basically voided her apology. I don't need that. If you don't know me, or even met me, don't judge me. And don't judge a situation by one person's account. Most of you have seen my brother's & mine troublesome relationship..so most of you know what usually goes on. I deleted everyone involved so far, and if any other's have an issue, I have no problem deleting 'em too.
Syonara.
Coming to terms with life...barely.
I sincerely thought I was handling the miscarriage, but my brother's wife Mandy had their baby yesterday, and he sent a few pictures of the new baby. This may sound awful, but I'm so jealous =/. At first, I was ok with the pictures, but now I just can't. I explained this to him, and hopefully he'll listen. But now I'm listening to A Little Stronger, and crying into our precious child's first blankie. I feel so alone. Will just left back to the field. I'd be 23 weeks today, over halfway done, and no baby to hold. One more month and I'd be into my third trimester. It's rough.
That was one of the happiest days of my life(December 29)..only to be turned right back around a week later. (Jan 5th).
As you can clearly see, my levels were NOT below zero until this date.
Here's my note from Facebook:
That was one of the happiest days of my life(December 29)..only to be turned right back around a week later. (Jan 5th).
As you can clearly see, my levels were NOT below zero until this date.
Here's my note from Facebook:
So..a lot of you have been truly supportive during the worst periods of my life, and have let me rant and cry, without judgment. To those..I thank. With all my heart. Losing our first baby is not something I can just snap back from. Years from now, I'll still get upset, angry, and frustrated. It's a huge emotional, mental, and physical ordeal. It hurts in every way imaginable. I honestly understand some people do not know how to respond. It's hard to know what to say when you yourself have never dealt with a certain situation. This may sound totally bitchy, but please PLEASE do not say you know how I feel if you havent yourself lost a child. I'm dealing with blood work twice a week, shots typically use to treat CANCER along with vaginal ultrasounds every week. So far..without much progress. On top of that, I'm dealing with certain things I'm not at liberty to discuss, which is just adding more stress. Thankfully I've been blessed with an ABSOLUTELY amazing husband, who can hold my hand when I'm in severe pain. It also hurts knowing I'm cramping, without an end result to look forward to. My faith in God is still strong, however, I cannot say it has not wavered. I'm well assured God understands that.
Others..however..I honestly hope you NEVER have to deal with this, because you'll have to deal with what I've been getting.
and
is what I'm dealing with.
BTW- Despite the fact Will & I are only about to be 21, Will has a steady job. I have healthcare as to avoid major debt during pregnancy. We have a savings, despite insurance claims from a car accident and robbery one month after the other.(well...we did have savings, not getting a paycheck kinda screwed us up). We're barely in debt, though we started out with nothing, and now have almost an entirely furnished apartment, plus we replaced almost all the items stolen from us. So..I dont think we're doing so bad thank you VERY much. This baby we lost was already extremely loved. And we already started putting aside money to fully be able to get all of its basic needs. So yeah. Dont butt in with your opinions about how we're way too young to start a family.
BUT...good news is..I am strong. I am blessed to have an amazing support group. And as my mantra says:
I know my heart will never be the same
But I'm telling myself I'll be okay
Even on my weakest days
I get a little bit stronger
January 5,2011 is when my world was turned upside down, and I'll NEVER forget it.
So, if I hide your posts, and pictures, and don't seem overly excited about what's going on..forgive me..and if you can't, delete me. A miscarriage isn't something I'm gonna get over anytime soon. I don't wish bad things upon people who've been blessed with kids, but there's days I just can't face it. There was a BABY inside of me, there was no 'normal' D&C, no passing it on my own..no, I had injections of chemotherapy. I dealt with hair loss, sore body, and lack of a interest in life. In February, I got rushed back to the hospital, because pregnancy tissue was caught in my cervix, and I kept bleeding. To be honest, I thought my tube had actually ruptured, as my doctor warned me it could. My doctors scared the crap out of me by telling me if I hadn't came to the ER and got the clot removed, I could've got seriously sick. And there was a few beside me every step of the way. I'd call my Gamma in the middle of the night, and she'd just listen to me cry. I didn't always have Will by my side, because the mission always comes first. In fact, I can still be dealing with complications from this. On March 8th, I also had an ultrasound that revealed something was obstructing my right ovary. I go Monday (yes, 6 weeks later) for a MRI. I'm scared. Will won't be here to go with me. I get to deal with yet another hard thing, almost virtually alone. Only b/c I don't wanna have to drag Amber & Conner out of bed by 7 to go with me, she's one of my very best friends here in the 915. There's times I'm bitter, but not to anyone, just about the situation. I technically have to wait 4.5 more months until we can consider trying again, and unless his CoC decides what they wanna do to him, he may be deployed then. So..I'm pretty sure I reserve the right to be extremely upset, and have pity party days.
I just wish Will were here to hold me & tell me everything's going be alright, b/c I'm not right now.
Syonara.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
A Walk to Remember
can always, without fail, bring me to tears multiple times. I forgot how much I lovee this movie (and it's soundtrack). Mandy Moore is one of my favorite actresses, and Shane West is total eye candy. I use to dream of a love like what the screenplay displays. Thankfully I found it.
Will Vaughan is one of the greatest things to ever happen to me. And I never really give him the credit he so richly deserves. He's been beside my side through multiple ER visits, 2 surgeries, chemotherapy for my miscarriage, car accident, getting robbed, being 1600 miles away from everyone I knew all my life, and so much more. Most people who knew him in high school barely recognize him anymore. I wish I could say I had a lot more to do with it then I really did. I just encouraged him to ditch all his negative influences. Most of his 'friends' use to warn me he'd never settle down, and especially not with me. But he joined the Army, and has become a helluva good man. I never once go to sleep doubting his love for me, and that in itself is a blessing. Not saying our marriage is perfect, all relationships have faults, but we work through ours...despite the strains military life brings upon us.
When we first met, I fell for him, and I fell hard. Which, I hate to admit, I usually did. My friends' worried about me. But after I got hurt in December, I vowed not to casually date anymore. I gave up being the girl who always had a boyfriend. I joked with my friends the next guy I dated would be the one I'd marry. But fast forward 400ish days, and that's exactly what I did. Our courtship wasn't as long as many would've liked, but it was/is so right. After 6 months of dating, we got engaged, and 6 months after that, we were saying our vows. In the 3 years we've been together, we've dealt with obstacles others see maybe during a decade of marriage. But it's made us grow up so much. There's times when I only have Will to depend on, since all my loved ones are so far away.
He's just..amazing. Smart, kind, thoughtful, honest, funny, and so so sweet. I will never ever forget our wedding day <3. That is deff a walk to remember, and still to this day, we walk hand in hand.
Will Vaughan is one of the greatest things to ever happen to me. And I never really give him the credit he so richly deserves. He's been beside my side through multiple ER visits, 2 surgeries, chemotherapy for my miscarriage, car accident, getting robbed, being 1600 miles away from everyone I knew all my life, and so much more. Most people who knew him in high school barely recognize him anymore. I wish I could say I had a lot more to do with it then I really did. I just encouraged him to ditch all his negative influences. Most of his 'friends' use to warn me he'd never settle down, and especially not with me. But he joined the Army, and has become a helluva good man. I never once go to sleep doubting his love for me, and that in itself is a blessing. Not saying our marriage is perfect, all relationships have faults, but we work through ours...despite the strains military life brings upon us.
When we first met, I fell for him, and I fell hard. Which, I hate to admit, I usually did. My friends' worried about me. But after I got hurt in December, I vowed not to casually date anymore. I gave up being the girl who always had a boyfriend. I joked with my friends the next guy I dated would be the one I'd marry. But fast forward 400ish days, and that's exactly what I did. Our courtship wasn't as long as many would've liked, but it was/is so right. After 6 months of dating, we got engaged, and 6 months after that, we were saying our vows. In the 3 years we've been together, we've dealt with obstacles others see maybe during a decade of marriage. But it's made us grow up so much. There's times when I only have Will to depend on, since all my loved ones are so far away.
He's just..amazing. Smart, kind, thoughtful, honest, funny, and so so sweet. I will never ever forget our wedding day <3. That is deff a walk to remember, and still to this day, we walk hand in hand.
Song Challenge: Day 2
Least favorite song. Not sure this counts as a song, but ever since I've heard it, this song has got on my last nerve. I'm sure most of you agree.
Rebecca Black's Friday.
Oo-ooh-ooh, hoo yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Seven a.m., waking up in the morning
Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs
Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal
Seein' everything, the time is goin'
Tickin' on and on, everybody's rushin'
Gotta get down to the bus stop
Gotta catch my bus, I see my friends (My friends)
Kickin' in the front seat
Sittin' in the back seat
Gotta make my mind up
Which seat can I take?
It's Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday
Gettin' down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend
Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)
Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)
Fun, fun, fun, fun
Lookin' forward to the weekend
7:45, we're drivin' on the highway
Cruisin' so fast, I want time to fly
Fun, fun, think about fun
You know what it is
I got this, you got this
My friend is by my right, ay
I got this, you got this
Now you know it
Kickin' in the front seat
Sittin' in the back seat
Gotta make my mind up
Which seat can I take?
It's Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday
Gettin' down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend
[ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/friday-lyrics-rebecca-black.html ]
Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)
Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)
Fun, fun, fun, fun
Lookin' forward to the weekend
Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday
Today i-is Friday, Friday (Partyin')
We-we-we so excited
We so excited
We gonna have a ball today
Tomorrow is Saturday
And Sunday comes after ... wards
I don't want this weekend to end
R-B, Rebecca Black
So chillin' in the front seat (In the front seat)
In the back seat (In the back seat)
I'm drivin', cruisin' (Yeah, yeah)
Fast lanes, switchin' lanes
Wit' a car up on my side (Woo!)
(C'mon) Passin' by is a school bus in front of me
Makes tick tock, tick tock, wanna scream
Check my time, it's Friday, it's a weekend
We gonna have fun, c'mon, c'mon, y'all
It's Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday
Gettin' down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend
Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)
Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)
Fun, fun, fun, fun
Lookin' forward to the weekend
It's Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday
Gettin' down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend
Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)
Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)
Fun, fun, fun, fun
Lookin' forward to the weekend
Read more: REBECCA BLACK - FRIDAY LYRICS http://www.metrolyrics.com/friday-lyrics-rebecca-black.html#ixzz1K2gL6b00
Copied from MetroLyrics.com
Rebecca Black's Friday.
Oo-ooh-ooh, hoo yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Seven a.m., waking up in the morning
Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs
Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal
Seein' everything, the time is goin'
Tickin' on and on, everybody's rushin'
Gotta get down to the bus stop
Gotta catch my bus, I see my friends (My friends)
Kickin' in the front seat
Sittin' in the back seat
Gotta make my mind up
Which seat can I take?
It's Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday
Gettin' down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend
Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)
Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)
Fun, fun, fun, fun
Lookin' forward to the weekend
7:45, we're drivin' on the highway
Cruisin' so fast, I want time to fly
Fun, fun, think about fun
You know what it is
I got this, you got this
My friend is by my right, ay
I got this, you got this
Now you know it
Kickin' in the front seat
Sittin' in the back seat
Gotta make my mind up
Which seat can I take?
It's Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday
Gettin' down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend
[ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/friday-lyrics-rebecca-black.html ]
Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)
Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)
Fun, fun, fun, fun
Lookin' forward to the weekend
Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday
Today i-is Friday, Friday (Partyin')
We-we-we so excited
We so excited
We gonna have a ball today
Tomorrow is Saturday
And Sunday comes after ... wards
I don't want this weekend to end
R-B, Rebecca Black
So chillin' in the front seat (In the front seat)
In the back seat (In the back seat)
I'm drivin', cruisin' (Yeah, yeah)
Fast lanes, switchin' lanes
Wit' a car up on my side (Woo!)
(C'mon) Passin' by is a school bus in front of me
Makes tick tock, tick tock, wanna scream
Check my time, it's Friday, it's a weekend
We gonna have fun, c'mon, c'mon, y'all
It's Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday
Gettin' down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend
Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)
Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)
Fun, fun, fun, fun
Lookin' forward to the weekend
It's Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday
Gettin' down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend
Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)
Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)
Fun, fun, fun, fun
Lookin' forward to the weekend
Read more: REBECCA BLACK - FRIDAY LYRICS http://www.metrolyrics.com/friday-lyrics-rebecca-black.html#ixzz1K2gL6b00
Copied from MetroLyrics.com
Love these God wants you to know messages
On this day of your life, Liz, we believe God wants you to know ... that God loves in you even that which you dislike.
God doesn't partition you into pieces and loves some and not loves others. That's what people do. That's what you do. God, who created you, accepts and loves every little part of you, even those you deny and hate in yourself. So next time you try to dislike a part of you, just pause, look and remember that God loves it.
God doesn't partition you into pieces and loves some and not loves others. That's what people do. That's what you do. God, who created you, accepts and loves every little part of you, even those you deny and hate in yourself. So next time you try to dislike a part of you, just pause, look and remember that God loves it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)