Trusting in God.

My life..is not what I expected. When I married Will, we wanted kids right away. I was 19. But, God has another plan for us right now. We never actively tried until the past 3 months (had to wait 6 months after my eptopic, and when my 6 month wait was over, Will was gone for training.) This month I got blood tested to make sure I was ovulating, which I was, but still the negative sign on my e.p.t. digital taunts me. Will leaves very very soon, before I begin ovulation again, so, I'll be at least 23 when we finally have a baby (granted I get pregnant right away). I know there's a ton of people who can't get pregnant, and that have been trying a lot longer than us, anddd there are those who are nearing no-longer prime conception years. I know this whiny blog may sound trivial, butt it's how I feel, and you don't have to read this. =/. We always knew we wanted kids, but after I lost our baby in January, it's literally allllll I think about. I'm not bitter (at least, I really really hope I'm not), but there's times it bothers me privately. And so I blog about it. Goodness knows I'm not about to complain to Will, who's off to Afghan. He has enough on his mind. But I watch him with our friends' kids, and I feel soo bad. Will was meant to be a dad. Without a doubt. I mean, I love kids, and some have an instant connection with me, but Will...is just amazing. And it pains me to see that. My friend Kim brought up a good point the other day. I want Will by my side for this next pregnancy, and with the new 2 year dwell time, he will be. And so, I wait. Albeit a little bit impatiently. Thank you God for loving me with all my faults, and please let me find solace in Jeremiah 29:11.