Infertility Story

http://www.whattoexpect.com/groups/m/fertility-treatments/discussion/9088215.html

Time for An Update

Sorry about the lack of blogging. Life has been crazy hectic.

The husband returned home safely from Afghanistan. To which I am so incredibly thankful. And he also reenlisted, so I'm an Army wife for 4 more years.

We got to spend three weeks in FL. Finally got a honeymoon. Went to Universal and Islands of Adventures, plus Sea World. Went to Tallahassee and Daytona to see friends. Spent my Momma's birthday with her finally. And me and Will enjoyed The Melting Pot, deff a new and fun experience.

Traveled back to TX through Hurricane Isaac. So not fun.

Arrived home just to land in the hospital. Had miscarriage #2 on the ironic day of Labor Day (just b/c of the name).

Husband's unit sponsored a marriage retreat in Ruidoso,NM 3 weeks ago.  Our marriage has always been strong but that deff rejuvenated us.

And that brings us to now. We're currently in the process of PCSing to Ft.Bragg, NC. My heart has never been so happy. The East Coast is where we belong.

Hope this post finds everyone well ❤.

Baby steps (no pun intended ;) )

Still kinda upset last month was pretty much a wasted month in our TTC struggle. But on to amazing news.

My menstrual cycle started right on time this month.

I took a fertility test today, and I'm fertile! =D.

I go for a pre-conception check up on Tuesday, which is our 3 year wedding anniversary <3.

I start my 3rd round of Clomid on Wednesday.

Will is due home sooner than later now.

Prayers work <3.

Joined the iPhone club

Will and I are now proud owners of iPhones =D. Will got his black 4, I got the white 4s. YAY! I get to FaceTime with one of my best friends, anddd my little sister now. =D.  I am in loooooove. I know this is a random post, but hey =D.

Will reenlisted the other day!!!!!!!!!!!!! The Army now has my hubs until 2016 <3.

And it's less than two weeks till our 3 year wedding anniversary, go us!!!!!!!

Andd we'll be in Florida in August =D.

Extremely good week.

Memorial Day 2012

Remember during this long weekend of fun, there are families still hurting over the loss of fallen family members who died protecting our freedoms. My prayers are especially with the families of the following Bulldog Brigade fallen soldiers: SPC Edens, SPC Acosta, PFC Turner, SFC Clark, SPC Lumley, SPC Mayberry, and PVT Vaquerno, and the unidentified soldiers we recently lost. ♥, we will never forget.

I saw a soldier kneeling down,
for this was the first quiet place he had found.
He had traveled through jungles, rivers and mud
He'd tasted sweat and shed his blood.

He folded his hands and looked to the sky
I saw his tears, as they welled in his eyes.
He spoke to God, and this is what he said.
"God Bless my men, who now lie dead;

I know not what You have in mind,
but when You judge them, please be kind
when they come before You, they will be poorly dressed
but they'll walk proudly, for they have done their best.

Their boots will be muddy and their clothes all torn
but these clothes they have so proudly worn.
Their hearts will be still and cold inside,
for they have fought their best and did so with pride.

So please take care of them as they pass Your way
the price of freedom they've already paid."

AMEN! 

by: Anonymous

God bless our Troops.

Looking for the light at the end of this tunnel of darkness..

Every month, I let myself get optimistic. And every month, I'm disappointed. I try not to be. Every month, it's like my personal mantra...it's gonna happen, it's gonna happen. But all I have to show is a huge ass bruise on my arm from the bloodwork. I may not have been trying long, but it hurts just the same. I know how badly it hurts Will too. He's so amazing, and so supportive, and it kills me that he's not a father yet. I see him with friends' kids...and it literally pains me.

Anyways, exciting news. Three friends are having baby boys, as well as my sister-in-law =D. So I get my baby dosage in other ways. Prayin' for healthy deliveries for all of them <3.

And I started babysitting Monday. It's going great so far. We watch Disney movies together, lol.

Hope this post finds everyone well <3.

In a slump

Lately, my hormones are taking a toll on me. Pretty sure it's a combination of stressing about my Momma and Gamma, my husband and his battles' safety, and worrying about the future. =/.

 I'm really scared of how this deployment may affect my husband. He lost a really good friend today, and he's pretty broken about it. I just wish I could take all the hurt away. Will's a pretty sensitive guy to begin with, so I can only imagine how he's dealing with it. I pray I'm strong, and unselfish enough, to handle all of our life changes. My husband is my world, but I'm not a fool. I see all the time about how deployments can change people...something just snaps. =/. We've maintained  good communication, and I pray we learn to adapt to one another again come redeployment.

 My Momma is battling this dementia to the best of her ability...and so far she's winning. But I can't stop myself from fearing she won't recognize me when we visit in a couple months. I've been trying to research the disease, to educate myself, and some of the published studies concern me. Her mental health can go downhill so quickly, without much warning.

 And my Gamma is nearing her 90's. These two women,...mean everything to me. They gave up so much for me, without complaint. They've always had my back, and I'm so grateful for their presence.

 I go soon for my next round of Clomid. I pray it works. I want nothing more than to start a family with Will, and I pray that it's in God's plan for us.


So many other changes are happening. I've put everything into some friendships, to no results, and I'm just drained, and it pains me. =(.

Sorry for the pity party guys.

Already Over April Fool's Jokes

Stolen from Amber who stole it from her friend : 
So I'm just gonna say it. With April fool's day coming up this weekend if you're gonna post that you're pregnant (and really not) or post the picture of a test with just kidding in the window, all for some silly April fool's joke...please delete me now. Thank you.

Pretty much my thoughts! - Sidenote: Being pregnant isn't a joke, it's a blessing. Recognize that, and don't make someone who isn't able to get pregnant suffer just to play a 'Gotcha!'




...my prayers are with a certain friend on this so-called 'holiday.'

Fertility Struggles

Today I met with my OB about fertility drugs. Namely, progesterone and Clomid. I'm really scared, kinda excited. We learned that my tubes and everything look good, but I'm not ovulating every month like I'm suppose to. So that's where the prescriptions come in. I pray that this works, and soon we're have a baby Braxton or baby Kayli. <3. I'm so glad I have my amazing husband Will, my Momma and Gamma, and so many amazing friends to help me through this, and to pray for me. Only time will tell =).

Looking forward to this week.

Today I plan on finishing unpacking. All of the clothes washed and hung up. Then maybe getting stuff out of storage. Really need to finish that by this weekend.

Tomorrow is my baby doctor appointment. So freaking excited. Fingers crossed for good news.

Wednesday, I'm gonna be spending the day with Jess, and she's gonna help me get more stuff out of storage.

Thursday is a normal doctor appointment, boo =/.

And Friday I have a BBQ =).

Yay for busy weeks! =).

Pretty friggin excited

As not to violate OSPEC, I just realized a milestone in the deployment happened today =D. I just want Will home sooner than later. Still asking for prayers for the Bulldog Brigade, and all of the other troops so courageously serving. <3.

...also asking for prayers for a friend and she gets the answers she needs soon.

10 DAYS UNTIL I SEE THE BABY DOCTOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

....and now back to laundry and America's Most Wanted.

Last Friday Night

was pretty awesome. Went and saw Daughtry as he performed for the troops and their families. Paid $10 for the beer garden, exclusively so I could get a t-shirt ;), gave my friend's hubby my free beer lol. After the concert, I went to main Bliss to go see 21 Jumpstreet. Could NOT stop laughing. Jessica, go take Robbie to see it. =D. Channing Tatum....oh boy hehe. After the movie, we stopped by the little bar/restaurant on post, Shamrock's since it was technically St.Patty's day. Had a yummy Blue Hawaiian,...except it was obviously colored green for the holiday. Came home, and crashed. I needed severe non-stop sleep so badly.

I'm pretty proud of Will and myself. We set a goal to get a specific amount in two separate savings account in January, and with this pay check...we got to that amount. So now we raised the stakes, on top of keeping up with our other bills. Traveling to and from FL, on top of unexpected things, and R&R set us back a little bit, but heck, we still did it. =D. If we meet our new goal by the time he gets home, as well as the other stuff we want done (his exhaust is messed up, and he really wants his speakers fixed and windows tinted)...we're gonna celebrate with a new living room set =D. Ours came from Big Lots, and they held up well for the 3 years we owned them, but the saying 'you get what you paid for' is deff true. So, moving on to actual quality furniture =).

Hope everyone has a good St.Patty's Day, and remainder of the weekend <3.

Back in TX

 Some pictures from home =). Loved loved LOVED spending time in FL <3. But it's great to be back in TX too =)).

Homesick.

Things have been so complicated since I've been home. If not for a few friends, and my Gamma....I'd be gone already. This deployment is kicking my ass. I don't like complaining because a) it doesn't change anything, and b) everyone has problems. But I want my husband home. Like, yesterday. I feel so alone without him. Something was implied to me earlier that no child should ever have to think about. =/.  And I'm not happy about it. I still don't believe in airing dirty laundry, but..whatever.

I'm just thankful for those friends who pick me up. I've been hanging with my little sister a lot lately. I love my Shelby Lynn. Saw Contraband last weekend. Made my Gamma eat not just gator, but deer. Drove to GA to sight-see. Went clubbing for the first time (I'm in love lol)...it's a life experience I was happy about, which surprised me.

....this post is really jumbled. I guess I'm just still in shock.

Winter Jam and other fun stuff

Thursday night, I went to the ultimate rivalry game with my friend Sam. Dixie County played Chiefland in basketball. My old high school against my husband's ;)....his team won. Went to WalMart later with Taylor, picking up some last minute things for Winter Jam.

Friday, headed to Tallahassee to meet up with Miranda and Amber. Amber drove us to Jacksonville, where we enjoyed Winter Jam 2012. =). Met up with two of their friends, and spent the night with Jamie. We had a pretty good time. Saturday we headed back home, and Rand & I got Chic-fil-A before heading back to her house for a little while.

Sunday..I did absolutely nothing productive, except sleep, shower, cook. Started  the second book of The Hunger Games series.

Yesterday headed to Chiefland with Taylor to run a few errands. Picked up the last two Just Dance games for my Wii. Been doing 20 minute sessions 3 times a day. In love. Also picked up Chinese (I was craving it). Came home and started (and finished) the final book of The Hunger Games. Already hungering for the movie. Woke up around 2 to someone/some very large thing walking by my Gamma's window. Lu is going crazy. Sent off my car alarm and spooked them off.  Got my cop friend to do a little patrol though. Love living in a place where cops actually respond to things in a timely fashion. (esp when I'm loved ;) ).

Today I'm headed up to Gainesville to meet up with Taylor and Ashley. Going to grab dinner and see a movie, hopefully Joyful Noise =). I'm pretty excited.


I'm asking for prayers for my friend Kim. And also for my husband, as he caught a pretty horrible stomach bug, and he needs to be better. I worry so much for his safety =(.

Hope everyone has a great day <3!

New Year..new outlook

I dreaded January 5th with a horrible passion. But, that date (along with my faith in God, and some pretty amazing people) healed my bitter heart. I wasn't bitter towards anyone(despite one person's opinion), but bitter towards my situation. I realize that now, and I own up to it. We had hoped to conceive during R&R, but that didn't happen. And I think my attitude was part of it. I'm not saying I'm happy it happened, but I can cope with it now. The moment the wind took my balloon memorial, it was like it took my burden with it. If we would've conceived earlier,...I wasn't over loosing baby #1. Not saying I'll ever be completely over it, but I wasn't in the right mindset.  I thank my friends who didn't delete me over my lamenting over the day. There were quite a number who did,  but that's ok. I did need to get over myself in the nicest way possible. A many a number of friends suffered miscarriages in 2011, and there were a few who handled it way better than myself publicly. I pray for those who have endured this pain. But I think now, and Will would have missed so much. As he's reenlisting, he's still gonna miss so much, but he'll be home for my pregnancy, and the baby's first year with the new dwell time. That's perfect for me. And we've had to deal with a lot of obstacles our first two years of marriage, but I'm glad we did, because we survived. We're still in a honeymoon stage obviously, and there'll be more trying years in our hopefully many years of marriage. But we've learned how to overcome some problems, and how the one person uniquely handles stressful situations. And I've gotta say, so far, I'm pretty durn proud of us =D.

Off that depressing note, Lu & I had fun with Jess& Apollo. Ate yummy food, drank some delicious Sangria,  caught up on Glee, and I got stuff to redecorate my bathroom. Today I ran errands for my Gamma, and got LuLu groomed. She looks even more adorable, and her place of grooming had the cutest name: Paradise Pet  Palace. lol. Came home and cooked up some burgers for dinner, with a cranberry lemonade and cupcakes. =). Watched 'Pretty Woman' (miss you Amber! my 80's movie partner), and now about to head to bed. Excited about Winter Jam in Jacksonville this weekend =)). Hope everyone's doing good <3.

2012 so far

Spent the first day of 2012 with friends, namely Miranda, Taylor, Ashley, and Jessica. Started the night out by eating at Mya's with Miranda. Headed up to Gainesville to meet up with Taylor and Ashley, swung by to see Jessica, her puppy Apollo, and her roommate while we were waiting =). Spent the night at Ashley's, where I woke up the next morning to FINALLY get my tattoo. Four years of waiting was so worth it. I'm in love with my ink.

Yesterday, did pretty much nothing, lol.
Today, I went grocery shopping and ran errands for my Gamma. Got me a new phone, because sadly, my phone of almost 4 years decided to go crazy on me. And my Gamma got me the prettiest of bouquets to make me smile. I adore her, and am so thankful for her.
Tomorrow, is the 1 year anniversary of the day we learned baby Vaughan will never come into this world, as I had an ectopic pregnancy. Remembering this day by doing a balloon memorial, with my friend Jessica, who is amazing by offering to be there for me <3. (Miranda sadly, is more than 2 hours away in Tallahassee). Went and got said balloons today, when the florist asked, and heard what happened, she donated the balloons to me, as she does a yearly balloon memorial for her angel baby. Aside from the circumstances, I'm happy to be seeing her, as I'm gonna cook for her, and our puppies are gonna make friends with each other =D.

Next weekend I'll be headed up to meet with Miranda, as we're then headed to Jacksonville for a huge Christian concert, along with two of her friends.  I'm really excited about this. =)

I want to ask ya'll to keep my friend Amber in your thoughts. It's not my place to say her business, but she needs lots of well wishes. =), thanks in advance!

And finally, I'm proud to say I'm 3 months into this deployment down. Yay!!! <3.