I can't sleep lately. Until I'm like bone tired. And I'm so sick of medicines, so I'm trying to tough out this pelvic pain as much as I can.
There's something that has been weighing heavily on my mind and heart lately. I joined a support group for girls having miscarriages, and though the topic is depressing, I get even more depressed with people posting about their upcoming babies after loss(judge me if you'd like, I'm being COMPLETELY honest. I know someday it'll happen, or it just wasn't Will and my future, but it's hard to be in a support group, just to kinda get it shoved in my face I'm NOWHERE near being able to try again. My hCG levels are still not at zero, despite the fact all that pregnancy tissue clogged up my cervix. So, I have to wait a suggested 6 months after I hit zero before we try again....and will have many tests run as well. Not to mention I'm not entirely sure if going off birth control is gonna be so easy this time. I'm excited for those people, but it just hurts. Will & I waited quite patiently while my health worked itself out, and finally, we had a ray of hope in December after everything to see I was pregnant...but bad things comes in threes. It'll be almost 2 months in 2 weeks and 2 days, and though I don't show it, it KILLS me. There's times I just curl up and cry into the baby blankie we bought. My body still thinks it's pregnant, and it sucks to know I'm dealing with all this pain, for essentially nothing =(.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Sing It Out
This song was recently featured on Glee, and I love the message the lyrics provide.
Sing It Out:
http://www.myspace.com/mychemicalromance/music-player?songid=76287305&artid=1943388&albid=16936155&enableembeds=1&pfc=BillboardPopOutPlayer&offnw=1&userid=-1<pm=1
Sing It Out:
http://www.myspace.com/mychemicalromance/music-player?songid=76287305&artid=1943388&albid=16936155&enableembeds=1&pfc=BillboardPopOutPlayer&offnw=1&userid=-1<pm=1
Sing it out,
Boy, you got to see what tomorrow brings.
Sing it out,
Girl, you got to be what tomorrow needs.
For every time.
That they want to count you out,
Use your voice,
every single time you open up your mouth.
Sing it for the boys,
Sing it for the girls,
Every time that you lose it sing it for the world.
Sing it from the heart,
Sing it till you're nuts,
Sing it out for the ones that'll hate your guts.
Sing it for the deaf,
Sing it for the blind,
Sing about everyone that you left behind.
Sing it for the world,
Sing it for the world.
Sing it out,
Boy, they're gonna sell what tomorrow needs
Sing it out,
Girl, they're gonna kill what tomorrow brings
You've got to make a choice,
If the music drowns you out.
And raise your voice,
Every single time they try and shut your mouth.
Sing it for the boys,
Sing it for the girls,
Every time that you lose it sing it for the world.
Sing it from the heart,
Sing it till you're nuts,
Sing it out for the ones that'll hate your guts.
Sing it for the deaf,
Sing it for the blind,
Sing about everyone that you left behind.
Sing it for the world,
Sing it for the world.
[ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/sing-lyrics-my-chemical-romance.html ]
Cleaned-up corporation progress,
Dying in the process.
Children that can talk about it,
Living on the webways.
People moving sideways,
Sell it till your last days.
Buy yourself the motivation,
Generation nothing.
Nothing but a dead scene,
Product of a white dream.
I am not the singer that you wanted,
but a dancer.
I refuse to answer,
Talk about the past,
Sir and wrote it for the ones who want to get away.
Keep running!
Sing it for the boys,
Sing it for the girls,
Every time that you lose it sing it for the world.
Sing it from the heart,
Sing it till you're nuts,
Sing it out for the ones that'll hate your guts.
Sing it for the deaf,
Sing it for the blind,
Sing about everyone that you left behind.
Sing it for the world,
Sing it for the world.
You've got to see what tomorrow brings!
Sing it for the world,
Sing it for the world.
Yeah, you've got to be what tomorrow needs!
Sing it for the world,
Sing it for the world.
Sing it out,
Girl, you got to be what tomorrow needs.
For every time.
That they want to count you out,
Use your voice,
every single time you open up your mouth.
Sing it for the boys,
Sing it for the girls,
Every time that you lose it sing it for the world.
Sing it from the heart,
Sing it till you're nuts,
Sing it out for the ones that'll hate your guts.
Sing it for the deaf,
Sing it for the blind,
Sing about everyone that you left behind.
Sing it for the world,
Sing it for the world.
Sing it out,
Boy, they're gonna sell what tomorrow needs
Sing it out,
Girl, they're gonna kill what tomorrow brings
You've got to make a choice,
If the music drowns you out.
And raise your voice,
Every single time they try and shut your mouth.
Sing it for the boys,
Sing it for the girls,
Every time that you lose it sing it for the world.
Sing it from the heart,
Sing it till you're nuts,
Sing it out for the ones that'll hate your guts.
Sing it for the deaf,
Sing it for the blind,
Sing about everyone that you left behind.
Sing it for the world,
Sing it for the world.
[ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/sing-lyrics-my-chemical-romance.html ]
Cleaned-up corporation progress,
Dying in the process.
Children that can talk about it,
Living on the webways.
People moving sideways,
Sell it till your last days.
Buy yourself the motivation,
Generation nothing.
Nothing but a dead scene,
Product of a white dream.
I am not the singer that you wanted,
but a dancer.
I refuse to answer,
Talk about the past,
Sir and wrote it for the ones who want to get away.
Keep running!
Sing it for the boys,
Sing it for the girls,
Every time that you lose it sing it for the world.
Sing it from the heart,
Sing it till you're nuts,
Sing it out for the ones that'll hate your guts.
Sing it for the deaf,
Sing it for the blind,
Sing about everyone that you left behind.
Sing it for the world,
Sing it for the world.
You've got to see what tomorrow brings!
Sing it for the world,
Sing it for the world.
Yeah, you've got to be what tomorrow needs!
Sing it for the world,
And so it begins..
I already miss him. Sounds corny, but I do. LuLu went with me when I followed him there and said good-bye. She whined so bad, my heart broke. I'm almost hoping he's still there when I leave to go buy Due Date. So glad that comes out today, since it's hysterical, and I need something to cheer me up. Until I'm with him again, there's only 2 men that'll do..Ben..and Jerry. Banana Split ice cream ftw.
But last night was fun. We went over a friend's house for dinner and game night. I'm gonna hate it when the Army takes us away from each other =(. and now Will & I want Monopoly Streets lol.
But there's times when being away from each other is cool. My best friend Miranda and I devised a thing inspired by 'The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.' Instead of pants though, we're gonna do a charm bracelet, and during your month,..you add a charm that describes your month. Since I'm starting it during my birthday month, I was thinking of doing a birthday charm. =). We amazingly got in touch with our 4th member, Kristen, and then there's Taylor too. I'm really hoping this will keep Kristen more in touch, because we all miss that girl.
I'm about to rewatch Glee's 'Justin Bieber Experience' because, well, it's Glee, and Glee always cheers me up.
Love,
me
But last night was fun. We went over a friend's house for dinner and game night. I'm gonna hate it when the Army takes us away from each other =(. and now Will & I want Monopoly Streets lol.
But there's times when being away from each other is cool. My best friend Miranda and I devised a thing inspired by 'The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.' Instead of pants though, we're gonna do a charm bracelet, and during your month,..you add a charm that describes your month. Since I'm starting it during my birthday month, I was thinking of doing a birthday charm. =). We amazingly got in touch with our 4th member, Kristen, and then there's Taylor too. I'm really hoping this will keep Kristen more in touch, because we all miss that girl.
I'm about to rewatch Glee's 'Justin Bieber Experience' because, well, it's Glee, and Glee always cheers me up.
Love,
me
Sunday, February 20, 2011
So much for a nice evening.....
I'm not one to air my dirty laundry, but I'm asking my readers to pray for me. Hard.
Countdown
Time is getting short =/. Yesterday I had a blast at the baby shower, then Will & I went bowling...again, lol. Ten games later, and I'm officially exhausted. Slept in almost to noon, then helped him load the Sunfire with everything. So far, it's been a pretty normal lazy Sunday morning. Will's been playing Madden, I've been Facebooking. I think later we're gonna go watch a movie. We're cramming 2 weeks of fun into one 4 day weekend, lol. Tomorrow is Koze!!! Yay! I love Japanese steakhouses, and Koze so far has been awesome.
Then probably coming home to relax. =). I've stocked up on a few books to read while he's gone, as well as some movies. And then, I got the gaming system to keep me occupied =). I'm also gonna be looking into a few recipe books. I tried this vegan pasta salad yesterday at the baby shower, and loved it. Thinkin' of adding shrimp to make it a complete meal dish type thing. We're both gettin' sick of the same meals, so deff considering adding new taste to satisfy our palates. Hope everyone reading this has a good day.
Love,
me
Then probably coming home to relax. =). I've stocked up on a few books to read while he's gone, as well as some movies. And then, I got the gaming system to keep me occupied =). I'm also gonna be looking into a few recipe books. I tried this vegan pasta salad yesterday at the baby shower, and loved it. Thinkin' of adding shrimp to make it a complete meal dish type thing. We're both gettin' sick of the same meals, so deff considering adding new taste to satisfy our palates. Hope everyone reading this has a good day.
Love,
me
Friday, February 18, 2011
4 Day Weekend!
Yay! Will has the entire weekend off before he's due to leave. He was already packed up from the last FTX, so we didn't have to waste time with that. This morning was a lazy one. Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe was played, and I WON! Lol. So exciting.
Now we're about to hit up WalMart to get him a new cell for this training, since his other one died. And then on to bowling with some friends of ours. =).
Now we're about to hit up WalMart to get him a new cell for this training, since his other one died. And then on to bowling with some friends of ours. =).
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Busy as a Bee
Life has got me going in every which direction lately.
Had an FRG (Family Readiness Group) meeting last night, a lot of talk about this upcoming deployment ( which I can't really talk about).. and was given a calender of trainings dates..to which Will is gonna be gone at least 2 weeks out of every month, and gone the entire month of June =/. 2 year in a row 'the mistress' (The Army) has taken it away from us. Not that big of a deal, but what's the point of a blog if I can't be honest?
My last few days has been driven by errands. Wal-Mart runs, grocery trip, mailing/paying of bills, taking Lu to the groomer. Today I am laying in bed, watching movies with my Lu girl. I picked up Unstoppable, Taking of Pelham 123, and Wall Street 2 on Tuesday =).
Valentine's Day was really good. Got a pretty bouquet, some amazing chocolates, Will built me a bear, and a Fossil watch I've been eyeing forever. He spoils me. We made chili that night, and watched Life As We Know It. Amazing movie if you haven't seen it. I also got schooled in Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe, lol.
On Saturday, we had an Organization Day for Will's unit. It was surprisingly fun. Amazing how much I can enjoy things if I simply just don't think about it. We ate steaks, listened to music, watched the soldiers do different events, and enjoyed each other's company. Afterwards, we went out with one of his battle buddies. Coldstone, Buffalo Wild Wings (love their fried mushrooms!!), and saw The Roommate. Kinda creepy movie, but good.
I believe Monday Will & I are celebrating my 21st, since he'll be gone for the actual day. I'm really wanting Koze again (amazing Japanese steakhouse).
Still debating on what I actually want for said birthday. Lol. But Will's usually good at surprises.
Hope everyone has a good day.
<3, me
Had an FRG (Family Readiness Group) meeting last night, a lot of talk about this upcoming deployment ( which I can't really talk about).. and was given a calender of trainings dates..to which Will is gonna be gone at least 2 weeks out of every month, and gone the entire month of June =/. 2 year in a row 'the mistress' (The Army) has taken it away from us. Not that big of a deal, but what's the point of a blog if I can't be honest?
My last few days has been driven by errands. Wal-Mart runs, grocery trip, mailing/paying of bills, taking Lu to the groomer. Today I am laying in bed, watching movies with my Lu girl. I picked up Unstoppable, Taking of Pelham 123, and Wall Street 2 on Tuesday =).
Valentine's Day was really good. Got a pretty bouquet, some amazing chocolates, Will built me a bear, and a Fossil watch I've been eyeing forever. He spoils me. We made chili that night, and watched Life As We Know It. Amazing movie if you haven't seen it. I also got schooled in Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe, lol.
On Saturday, we had an Organization Day for Will's unit. It was surprisingly fun. Amazing how much I can enjoy things if I simply just don't think about it. We ate steaks, listened to music, watched the soldiers do different events, and enjoyed each other's company. Afterwards, we went out with one of his battle buddies. Coldstone, Buffalo Wild Wings (love their fried mushrooms!!), and saw The Roommate. Kinda creepy movie, but good.
I believe Monday Will & I are celebrating my 21st, since he'll be gone for the actual day. I'm really wanting Koze again (amazing Japanese steakhouse).
Still debating on what I actually want for said birthday. Lol. But Will's usually good at surprises.
Hope everyone has a good day.
<3, me
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